Thursday 7 May 2020

THE PLANDEMIC


Well... well. 
Well.
I mean... 
Nothing makes much sense anymore if it ever made any.
We fucked up. We've been fucking up pretty much since the beginning and now increasingly so.
So this virus came out of ... errrr ... a market 200 meters away from a laboratory that was coincidentally experimenting with a PATENTED version of THIS virus. Yes. Humans now patent anything it seems, if they want to work on it, and obviously, we wanted to work on this beasty. And the beasty broke free, or flew free, or crawled free. 
Just after, the head of chemistry at Harvard University (Charles Lieber) was done for spying for China. Providing samples apparently. In fact with this same laboratory. Oh ... hang on... apparently, he had made up he was a spy to recruit foreign students, O_o (seems Harvard has to use extreme measures to recruit students these days, it used to be the other way round).
But they are all coincidences people... in Reality, the COVID version many of us are sharing bodies with comes from the market even though it is proven it cannot be passed through eating. They cannot even tell us which animal could have kindly given it to us.
Because coincidences happen to us all and to not believe in them make us into crazy conspiratory theorists, right? Right? WRONG.
 Try and use that one when you get sick on the busiest day at work, see what they tell you in the office. It seems debts and coincidences get forgiven only when they happen to the big fish, and by the big fish my friends I mean the BIG FISH. Don' t hallucinate, your manager is as much a fucking sardine as you are. 

But 3 good things about the Plandemic (leave me alone spellchecker !! that one is all on me!!!) :

1/ a lot of "new" vocabulary is commonplace my friends, great for writers! I mean... self-isolation, quarantine, VIRAL LOAD (I MEAN ... REALLY!! apparently the more zombies you meet on the way, the more zombified you get. Reality surpasses fiction once again:); COVID 19; FP2...

2/ people have suddenly become bloody genius!!! You should see the creativity around the freaking virus. I get an average of 10 memes per minute, and each is better than the last. Even my brain is coming up with shit I wish it had come up when I was writing fiction. Maybe another symptom of this virus? - don't let me get into that or this will exceed the word count of the Don Quijote -. 

3/ we don't look anywhere else!!! Oh yeah... while we are all nice and worried about the freaking virus we don't realise the 5G they are sticking up our asses, the wars growing like mushrooms everywhere, the poverty and death the new economic crisis is going to bring, the catastrophic results of global warming (another conspiracy theory that came and bit us in the ass eventually) the anti-democratic measures our governments are taking to "protect us from it" and will later forget to throw away, oh the list is endless...

So what now? I have no idea. Ask Nostradamus. But at the very least I have come to an outstanding discovery and that without leaving my flat:
You know the Chinese have always believed that the body is all connected? That some meridians run through it, connecting feet ears interior organs with each other? I have just proven them right.  As my daughter enlightened me by telling me Budweiser bottles are now twist-offable, and I attempted to twist one open, the funny pain I got in my hand in doing so teleported itself all the way to my ass. I swear I had this funny sensation down there... I had to stop twisting the thingy off and use a tea-towel to stop the tickles in my rear!
Quite remarkable scientific discovery to come to during isolation in the ass of the world, I should think - no pun intended O_o - . 
Anyway, my dears, I better rest my hands, after all, who knows what's waiting around the corner? A mega-meteorite? an alien invasion? An honest government? 

If they use all this in a movie nobody would have swollowed it.

Stay safe... from our governements.

Lulu Nearly Somewhere