GOBLIN MODE

Slobbing out and giving up: why are so many people going ‘goblin mode’?

 

 Illustration: Esme Blegvad/The Guardian

Yes, the Guardian got it right; we are f...ed off and tired and disillusioned, at least some of us. We don't see why we should be keeping appearances anymore, and to some of us, it has also come to the realization the world is nothing like we thought it was, and we want nothing to do it with it - or as little as physically possible -.
 Said that, I have been trying to de-goblin myself lately, mainly because other people's sanity depends a little on mine, so I cannot just let go even if that made me happy. Coming back to life, to this life, it's nothing short of a challenge. Long gone are the days I would get up from bed at 5.00 am to do yoga and write, with a smile on my face. When I am not working, I can barely make it out of bed before 10.00. Sad, I know. And while I am trying to improve, I am not even prepared to promise it will get better. A veil has been taken off my eyes, and what I see horrifies me and makes me scared, and depressed and tired and wanting to remain horizontal. 

But try I must because there is one thing - one person - nothing short of a miracle out there: her. And if there is one, there are many, and if there are many, there is hope, and if there is hope, life can be magical despite all the rest. As long as they let the Sun shine as well - they are planning not to, by the way, but that's another story bladibladiblah -

Anyway. Good morning (at 13:29) of a sunny afternoon off in GoblinLand. Today I was supposed to see some friends but couldn't be 'arsed'. Luckily for my ADHD and crippling depression- or sadly -, the builders turned up without an appointment to fix something, which is always a joy as it lets me stay in my cave one more day.
Happy De-goblin, humanoids